Happy Birthday Paisley

 It's hard to imagine that a year ago today right now I was walking around my neighborhood like a crazy lady trying to get contractions to start :) 

I have very mixed emotions about today, I think it will always be bitter sweet for me. WAY more SWEET then bitter. I don't know why Paisley's birth had to go the way it did, but I am FOREVER grateful for her. She changed me, as a family we witness pure sweet miracles, because of her and our lives are forever better. It put me back on track to where I needed to be, it put me closer to my father than heaven, closer than I had been in a LONG time. I have never felt so low and dark and then to be lifted up and carried to a sweet understanding of the love he has for us. He loves me, he loves my baby and he LOVES my family. 

If the only reason this all happened was to show us that miracles happen, and to have faith in his plan, then I'm ok with that. That was a lesson I needed to learn. 

I am still haunted by the things that happened that night, I still cry sometimes when I think about those days and the uncertainty of our future,  but then...

 I look at this face and smile! Paisley you are PERFECT! at 11 days old no one would have been able to tell that you went through all that you did. You are amazing and perfect and we love you so much! You have such a sweet spirit and I am FOREVER grateful that you lived, and that you LIVE a healthy and happy life! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!